Tranforming Your Trials into Triumphs

Do you find yourself constantly reacting to the circumstances around you? Are you caught in a never-ending blame game with the people around you?

If so, then I hope you will find value in today's article where we'll be discussing the importance of being proactive.

Let us first define what it means to be proactive. It involves more than taking initiative - it is to take responsibility to ensure that we are living our life the way we want. Steven Covey presents an interesting angle on the word responsibility - if you break up the word, it's "response-ability". So it is our ability to choose the way in which we respond. And that way will be based on a set of personal or religious values and conscious decision making as opposed to a reaction based on emotions.

When people react to the circumstances and people around them, anything and everything could affect their attitude and therefore their effectiveness. If the weather is bad, this can affect them. If someone does not treat them well or is having a bad day, this also affects them. When this becomes a consistent pattern of behaviour, the result is that one empowers negative circumstances to control them. This is not to say that proactive people are not influenced by negative circumstances - the difference is, as mentioned, that proactive people respond based on values as opposed to emotions.

It can take courage and honesty to come to this conclusion - that we have caused our own ineffectiveness because of the way that we respond to our environment. However, once we acknowledge this, it will be much easier to also realize that we can be the cause of our own effectiveness, success, and happiness.

Proactive people understand that difficult circumstances can act as a stepping stone to something better and that they can in fact be a force that allows us to find strength in ourselves that we never knew we had. Think of yourself or someone you know who endured a very difficult situation but came out of it with a profound lesson that inspired them and others around them. Furthermore, difficult circumstances cannot only act as a stepping stone but could actually provide you with an entire new perspective on life.

It's important to distinguish though that being proactive does not mean being pushy or bossy - but it means to recognize that we have the ability to improve our environment. So what are some of the ways that you can practically become more proactive? Here are a few to get you started:

1) Observe your language:

Reactive Language:

-"I'll try"
-"That's just the way I am"
-"There's nothing I can do"
-"You ruined my day"
-"I have to"
-"I can't"

Proactive Language
-"I will do it"
-"I can do better than that"
-"Let's look at our options"
-"I am not going to let your bad mood rub off on me"
-"I choose to"
-"There has to be a way"



2) Identify your circle of influence

Think of two circles. The bigger circle is your circle of concern - so the things that concern you but that you may not have any control over. The smaller circle inside of that is your circle of influence. This is the circle where you can be proactive and take action as opposed to focusing all of your time and effort on the circle of concern which includes focusing on the faults of others and problems 'out there'. If we start with ourselves and our circle of influence, we are then focusing our time, effort, and energy in a positive direction.

3) Transform trials into triumphs

Identify a challenge you may be encountering in your personal or work life and identify the first step you can take in your circle of influence to solve it and then take that step. Once this becomes a habit, you will start to see how you can truly transform your trials into triumphs.