True Commitment to Our Relationships

Most of us can agree that any successful relationship requires serious and consistent commitment. Yet, how many of us make sure this commitment is clearly conveyed both in our words and in our actions?

Whether it is wanting to have a successful relationship with our children, with our spouses, or with our families in general, commitment is a common and essential ingredient.

In Linda and Richard Eyre's The Book of Nurturing: Nine Laws for Enriching Your Family Life, the first "law" they speak of is that of commitment. They explain that our hope to see our children confident and secure will be a direct result of their knowing that they are our first priority.

Seems like common sense, right? As a matter of fact, it is stated that our children do not automatically know of our commitment. They need to be told and re-told of our true commitment and how they really matter to us more than anything else.

A story that one of the authors shared that particularly resonated with me was their encounter with a daughter of one of their colleagues years later. The author had known this family was struggling financially; yet, was impressed with their daughter's success and so he asked her, how her parents did it? The daughter laughed explaining how her parents were working hard to keep food on the table and didn't have much time for 'parenting methods'. She then paused for a moment, tears filling her eyes and said her parents did make a point of making sure that she and her siblings knew they mattered most. Each night, her dad would put her to bed, hold her face with his two hands, and look into her eyes and say: "I love you honey. You are my first priority. I am completely committed to your mom and to you kids. And I always will be".

That was her parents' secret.

I would draw this same parallel to our commitment with our spouses and with our families. If we really and sincerely want successful and loving relationships with those most important to us, we have to tell them and show them. And we have to do it often.

In the same book, one couple re-stated their commitment to each other years later after their marriage and actually wrote out "commitment documents" to one another. I've shared here with you a section of the husband's commitment document:

"I hereby recommit myself, my resources, my gifts, to you as my wife and as the only romantic love of my life. While I am far from perfect as a husband, there are many things you can absolutely and always count on from me. One is that I will put your interests first in every choice or decision I face. Two is that I will always be completely honest with you and have no secrets from you. Third is that I will be a full partner with you in the raising of our children. Fourth is that I will never let other priorities like work or sports get ahead of you and the kids or cause me to do anything that would damage or impact negatively on you or on your happiness".

One final point on commitment is the example of geese that the authors gave. It was truly humbling to see how this creation, through the mercy of God, show true commitment to one another. Geese mate for life until one of them dies, therefore sometimes spending more than 50 years together. They are completely committed to their families – they strive to keep each other safe, they put each other first, they know they can depend on each other, and one final beautiful nature of geese, is that they always come home.

These are some examples I have shared with you, and so I encourage you to find a way to say or show your commitment to those who matter most to you in life

So how does commitment in your relationships have to do with accelerating your journey to success? It is a matter of balance and a matter of setting your priorities. If family really matters to you and is a part of your life, then it deserves serious commitment. The different aspects in your lives – health, spirituality, family, finances, education, etc., are all interdependent. One of them affects the whole and the whole affects each one.