Most of us can agree that any successful relationship requires serious and consistent commitment. Yet, how many of us make sure this commitment is clearly conveyed both in our words and in our actions?
Whether it is wanting to have a successful relationship with our children, with our spouses, or with our families in general, commitment is a common and essential ingredient.
In Linda and Richard Eyre's The Book of Nurturing: Nine Laws for Enriching Your Family Life, the first "law" they speak of is that of commitment. They explain that our hope to see our children confident and secure will be a direct result of their knowing that they are our first priority.
Seems like common sense, right? As a matter of fact, it is stated that our children do not automatically know of our commitment. They need to be told and re-told of our true commitment and how they really matter to us more than anything else.
A story that one of the authors shared that particularly resonated with me was their encounter with a daughter of one of their colleagues years later. The author had known this family was struggling financially; yet, was impressed with their daughter's success and so he asked her, how her parents did it? The daughter laughed explaining how her parents were working hard to keep food on the table and didn't have much time for 'parenting methods'. She then paused for a moment, tears filling her eyes and said her parents did make a point of making sure that she and her siblings knew they mattered most. Each night, her dad would put her to bed, hold her face with his two hands, and look into her eyes and say: "I love you honey. You are my first priority. I am completely committed to your mom and to you kids. And I always will be".
That was her parents' secret.
I would draw this same parallel to our commitment with our spouses and with our families. If we really and sincerely want successful and loving relationships with those most important to us, we have to tell them and show them. And we have to do it often.
In the same book, one couple re-stated their commitment to each other years later after their marriage and actually wrote out "commitment documents" to one another. I've shared here with you a section of the husband's commitment document:
"I hereby recommit myself, my resources, my gifts, to you as my wife and as the only romantic love of my life. While I am far from perfect as a husband, there are many things you can absolutely and always count on from me. One is that I will put your interests first in every choice or decision I face. Two is that I will always be completely honest with you and have no secrets from you. Third is that I will be a full partner with you in the raising of our children. Fourth is that I will never let other priorities like work or sports get ahead of you and the kids or cause me to do anything that would damage or impact negatively on you or on your happiness".
One final point on commitment is the example of geese that the authors gave. It was truly humbling to see how this creation, through the mercy of God, show true commitment to one another. Geese mate for life until one of them dies, therefore sometimes spending more than 50 years together. They are completely committed to their families – they strive to keep each other safe, they put each other first, they know they can depend on each other, and one final beautiful nature of geese, is that they always come home.
These are some examples I have shared with you, and so I encourage you to find a way to say or show your commitment to those who matter most to you in life
So how does commitment in your relationships have to do with accelerating your journey to success? It is a matter of balance and a matter of setting your priorities. If family really matters to you and is a part of your life, then it deserves serious commitment. The different aspects in your lives – health, spirituality, family, finances, education, etc., are all interdependent. One of them affects the whole and the whole affects each one.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Power of Your Decisions
Are you today what you hoped to be 5 or 10 years ago? What is more important is have you decided on where you want to be in the next 5 to 10 years of your life?
In his book, Awaken the Giant Within, Anthony Robbins makes such a simple, yet profound statement. He says "You see, ten years from now, you will surely arrive. The question is: Where? Who will you have become? How will you live? What will you contribute? Now is the time to design the next ten years of your life – not once they're over". Reading this statement really hit home from me. Many times, we are in the "I wish I had done that" mode – we always seem to realize what we could have done a lot later than when we could have actually done it.
The reason for this is that we are not able to make firm decisions and commit to them. Or we let the circumstances or the people around us make our decisions for us.
What does it take to make a decision? Making a decision takes an honest and courageous stance from you to understand what it is you really want in life and to not let your environment make decisions for you. To test whether you have truly made a decision, observe whether you have actually taken action. It is through acting upon your decision that you demonstrate commitment to it.
What does it take to make a decision? Making a decision takes an honest and courageous stance from you to understand what it is you really want in life and to not let your environment make decisions for you. To test whether you have truly made a decision, observe whether you have actually taken action. It is through acting upon your decision that you demonstrate commitment to it.
Unfortunately, many people never make the decision to live their life according to the highest standards because they are too consumed in a victim state of mind that blames their parents, or their teachers, or their lack of opportunities. Anthony Robbins describes these belief systems to not only be limiting, but destructive and that the power of decisions can allow us to overcome all these belief systems in an instant if we so wish.
Anything that anyone has accomplished, whether it was on an individual level, or in their family, community, society, or the world was a result of a decision that they made. So you too, right now, this moment, can make a decision about who you are, how you want to live your life from now on and what you want to accomplish.
Anthony Robbins states the power of decisions simply but beautifully: "True decisions are the catalyst for turning our dreams into reality".
So, like most people, you may realize the importance of making decisions; however, you are not sure how to make those life changing decisions. Therefore, you just don't make them.
You continue to state 'preferences' such as "it would be great if I was able to get this job" or "I would feel so much better if I only lost 10 pounds" or "it would be nice if my kids were better behaved". So you state your preferences, but you don't actually make a decision.
The way to overcome this fear is not to know exactly what is going to happen, but to decide that you will make it happen, by the will of God. This is in fact what the word decision means. "De" in Latin means from and "caedre" means to cut. Therefore, as Anthony Robbins states in his Awaken the Giant Book , "making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting yourself off from any other possibility".
Many of us may not be accustomed to being this serious and clear about our decisions. However, it is this clarity that gives us the power to act upon our decisions. So once you have decided to lose those 10 pounds, or to increase your knowledge in a certain area or to even write a book, you will do all you possibly can to achieve it.
So how is it that we can learn to make powerful decisions? What is the ultimate secret? Are you ready for it? The secret is to make them. Yes, make a powerful decision today. What have you been procrastinating or avoiding for days, months, or even years? Challenge yourself, be courageous, and make that decision to improve your life today. And when you do it once, do it again, and again, until you become accustomed to making powerful decisions as opposed to stating preferences.
If you're not sure where to start with your powerful decisions, think of three main areas which are your decisions about your attitude, your decisions on your values, and your decisions about your actions.
How satisfied are you today with your attitude, values, and actions? How do they serve you in your life? Are they constant barriers for you and causes of failure? Or are they factors that contribute to your success and happiness?
A final important point to mention is most people don't make decisions because they are afraid it will be the 'wrong' decision. This can be very paralyzing and limiting to your potential and success. As human beings prone to error, we will not always make the right decisions, but what's important is to be flexible and learn from our decisions in order to make better ones in the future.
Embrace your ability to make powerful decisions today and witness the profound difference they can and will make in your life.
In his book, Awaken the Giant Within, Anthony Robbins makes such a simple, yet profound statement. He says "You see, ten years from now, you will surely arrive. The question is: Where? Who will you have become? How will you live? What will you contribute? Now is the time to design the next ten years of your life – not once they're over". Reading this statement really hit home from me. Many times, we are in the "I wish I had done that" mode – we always seem to realize what we could have done a lot later than when we could have actually done it.
The reason for this is that we are not able to make firm decisions and commit to them. Or we let the circumstances or the people around us make our decisions for us.
What does it take to make a decision? Making a decision takes an honest and courageous stance from you to understand what it is you really want in life and to not let your environment make decisions for you. To test whether you have truly made a decision, observe whether you have actually taken action. It is through acting upon your decision that you demonstrate commitment to it.
What does it take to make a decision? Making a decision takes an honest and courageous stance from you to understand what it is you really want in life and to not let your environment make decisions for you. To test whether you have truly made a decision, observe whether you have actually taken action. It is through acting upon your decision that you demonstrate commitment to it.
Unfortunately, many people never make the decision to live their life according to the highest standards because they are too consumed in a victim state of mind that blames their parents, or their teachers, or their lack of opportunities. Anthony Robbins describes these belief systems to not only be limiting, but destructive and that the power of decisions can allow us to overcome all these belief systems in an instant if we so wish.
Anything that anyone has accomplished, whether it was on an individual level, or in their family, community, society, or the world was a result of a decision that they made. So you too, right now, this moment, can make a decision about who you are, how you want to live your life from now on and what you want to accomplish.
Anthony Robbins states the power of decisions simply but beautifully: "True decisions are the catalyst for turning our dreams into reality".
So, like most people, you may realize the importance of making decisions; however, you are not sure how to make those life changing decisions. Therefore, you just don't make them.
You continue to state 'preferences' such as "it would be great if I was able to get this job" or "I would feel so much better if I only lost 10 pounds" or "it would be nice if my kids were better behaved". So you state your preferences, but you don't actually make a decision.
The way to overcome this fear is not to know exactly what is going to happen, but to decide that you will make it happen, by the will of God. This is in fact what the word decision means. "De" in Latin means from and "caedre" means to cut. Therefore, as Anthony Robbins states in his Awaken the Giant Book , "making a true decision means committing to achieving a result, and then cutting yourself off from any other possibility".
Many of us may not be accustomed to being this serious and clear about our decisions. However, it is this clarity that gives us the power to act upon our decisions. So once you have decided to lose those 10 pounds, or to increase your knowledge in a certain area or to even write a book, you will do all you possibly can to achieve it.
So how is it that we can learn to make powerful decisions? What is the ultimate secret? Are you ready for it? The secret is to make them. Yes, make a powerful decision today. What have you been procrastinating or avoiding for days, months, or even years? Challenge yourself, be courageous, and make that decision to improve your life today. And when you do it once, do it again, and again, until you become accustomed to making powerful decisions as opposed to stating preferences.
If you're not sure where to start with your powerful decisions, think of three main areas which are your decisions about your attitude, your decisions on your values, and your decisions about your actions.
How satisfied are you today with your attitude, values, and actions? How do they serve you in your life? Are they constant barriers for you and causes of failure? Or are they factors that contribute to your success and happiness?
A final important point to mention is most people don't make decisions because they are afraid it will be the 'wrong' decision. This can be very paralyzing and limiting to your potential and success. As human beings prone to error, we will not always make the right decisions, but what's important is to be flexible and learn from our decisions in order to make better ones in the future.
Embrace your ability to make powerful decisions today and witness the profound difference they can and will make in your life.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Born to Succeed
How many of us truly understand that we are born for success? And how many of us work tirelessly for it?
Do we believe that our life measures up to what it could truly be or do most of us live a life of mediocrity?
Mediocrity can be the worst illness of our time. We are so comfortable in our average jobs, average families, and average communities, that we do not feel the need to change. We do not feel the need to excel.
We have become accustomed to doing such an average job that we find it difficult to dream bigger, plan better, and work harder.
Think of these three steps:
1) Dream Bigger
How many of us envision ourselves as the best in our profession? How many of us dream of having the most successful family? How many of us are truly happy from the depths of our soul?
The only person who can limit our dreams is us. We can choose to limit ourselves with things like age, experience, and money. But we can also choose to free ourselves of those limitations and dream big. Roosevelt says, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams". Any reality today was only the dream of someone yesterday. Our dreams for our success, for the success of our families, and for the betterment of this world will be the realities of tomorrow.
2) Plan SMARTer
Dreaming bigger is an excellent first step, but it means nothing if we do not plan for it. How many of us have identified what our goals are for the next five, ten, and fifteen years? How many of us plan for success?
Another quote says that if we fail to plan, then we have planned to fail. If we are going on a vacation, we may spend weeks and even months planning for it by researching hotels, activities, dining, etc; yet, ironically enough, we do not spend time planning for our success. How many of us know the path we want to pursue once we graduate, or the type of experience we would like to gain in our career, or the type of family we would like to have in 5, 10, and 20 years.
Many of us may plan for retirement and are proud of our RRSP's, we plan for what will happen after our death by writing our wills, but we fail to plan for our lives now and in the near future.
Keeping the SMART acronym in mind is an excellent tool for planning. So your goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Action Oriented, Realistic, and Time Sensitive.
3) Work Harder
The final ingredient for the recipe of success is to work harder. The difference between mediocrity and excellence may be small, but it is what ultimately makes a difference. Working harder may mean waking up an hour earlier than most people do, or it may mean using our time more wisely that most people do, or it could be pushing ourselves slightly past what we perceive as our limits.
It is said that only 5 % of people use their gifts to their fullest potential – let us be amongst them.
Do we want to be remembered for our laziness and procrastination? Or do we want to be remembered for hard work and determination? Any successful person that has treaded upon this earth was someone who tirelessly worked to make their dreams a reality.
Just as we consult with a doctor regarding our medical concerns and with an accountant regarding our financial matters, it is only natural that we consult with a Life Coach regarding achieving our goals and reaching our full potential. Imagine what it would be like to live a life of success, excitement, and fulfillment. Imagine if you could excel in your career, your education, your family life. How would that make you feel?
Unleash your potential and witness the power of how fulfilling your life can truly be. Don't put your goals on hold any longer. Start living now.
Do we believe that our life measures up to what it could truly be or do most of us live a life of mediocrity?
Mediocrity can be the worst illness of our time. We are so comfortable in our average jobs, average families, and average communities, that we do not feel the need to change. We do not feel the need to excel.
We have become accustomed to doing such an average job that we find it difficult to dream bigger, plan better, and work harder.
Think of these three steps:
1) Dream Bigger
How many of us envision ourselves as the best in our profession? How many of us dream of having the most successful family? How many of us are truly happy from the depths of our soul?
The only person who can limit our dreams is us. We can choose to limit ourselves with things like age, experience, and money. But we can also choose to free ourselves of those limitations and dream big. Roosevelt says, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams". Any reality today was only the dream of someone yesterday. Our dreams for our success, for the success of our families, and for the betterment of this world will be the realities of tomorrow.
2) Plan SMARTer
Dreaming bigger is an excellent first step, but it means nothing if we do not plan for it. How many of us have identified what our goals are for the next five, ten, and fifteen years? How many of us plan for success?
Another quote says that if we fail to plan, then we have planned to fail. If we are going on a vacation, we may spend weeks and even months planning for it by researching hotels, activities, dining, etc; yet, ironically enough, we do not spend time planning for our success. How many of us know the path we want to pursue once we graduate, or the type of experience we would like to gain in our career, or the type of family we would like to have in 5, 10, and 20 years.
Many of us may plan for retirement and are proud of our RRSP's, we plan for what will happen after our death by writing our wills, but we fail to plan for our lives now and in the near future.
Keeping the SMART acronym in mind is an excellent tool for planning. So your goals need to be Specific, Measurable, Action Oriented, Realistic, and Time Sensitive.
3) Work Harder
The final ingredient for the recipe of success is to work harder. The difference between mediocrity and excellence may be small, but it is what ultimately makes a difference. Working harder may mean waking up an hour earlier than most people do, or it may mean using our time more wisely that most people do, or it could be pushing ourselves slightly past what we perceive as our limits.
It is said that only 5 % of people use their gifts to their fullest potential – let us be amongst them.
Do we want to be remembered for our laziness and procrastination? Or do we want to be remembered for hard work and determination? Any successful person that has treaded upon this earth was someone who tirelessly worked to make their dreams a reality.
Just as we consult with a doctor regarding our medical concerns and with an accountant regarding our financial matters, it is only natural that we consult with a Life Coach regarding achieving our goals and reaching our full potential. Imagine what it would be like to live a life of success, excitement, and fulfillment. Imagine if you could excel in your career, your education, your family life. How would that make you feel?
Unleash your potential and witness the power of how fulfilling your life can truly be. Don't put your goals on hold any longer. Start living now.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Welcome Note
Welcome to my blog. Destination Excellence is a personal and professional excellence coaching and seminars practice that specializes in career empowerment and leadership excellence for individual women, schools, and organizations. Feel free to visit my website: http://www.destinationexcellence.ca/ for more info and I hope you enjoy and benefit from this blog.
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